Producers Bail On Paris Hilton CD

THERE’S FINALLY A RELEASE DATE FOR PARIS HILTON’S FIRST CD — IT ARRIVES IN STORES ON AUGUST 12th — PARIS HAS BEEN BRAGGING THAT IT’S BEING PRODUCED BY JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, OR THE BLACK EYED PEAS.
– BUT AFTER LISTENING TO THE DEMO TAPE, EVERY POTENTIAL PRODUCER TURNED HER DOWN — FINALLY, IN DESPERATION, SHE CALLED JANE WIEDLIN (weed-LIN), FORMERLY OF THE GO-GO’s — SHE JUMPED AT THE CHANCE.
– JANE’S CAREER IS NOT EXACTLY ON FIRE — SHE JUST APPEARED ON THE REALITY SHOW “THE SURREAL LIFE” — AFTER THAT, SHE PUBLICLY BEGGED PLAYBOY MAGAZINE TO LET HER POSE NUDE (LIKE THEY DID WITH ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE GO-GOs, BELINDA CARLISLE)* — JANE SAID “I’D DO IT FOR 67 BUCKS, LUNCH, AND CAB FARE”
– ASKED ABOUT PARIS, JANE SAYS “SHE TAKES DIRECTION WELL, AND HAS NO ATTITUDE WHATSOEVER. I’M JUST HAPPY TO BE PART OF IT. I WAS SO EXCITED THEY OFFERED ME THE JOB. I MEAN, COME ON, IT’S PARIS HILTON” — THE ALBUM WILL BE CALLED “SCREWED”, WHICH IS THE TITLE OF THE FIRST SINGLE…